Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Hate Those Cursed Decepta-Siths!

Personally, I blame Darth Vader and Megatron. After all, they have both spent the majority of their lives actively trying to mess things up for others!

I mean, just look at these evil freaks...

Have you ever seen a pair of freedom-hating scuzzballs as nasty as them? It's obvious just by looking at their manufactured mugs of malfeasance that they would happily take a can-opener to their own mothers just to thwart a random, helpless, and perfectly innocent blogger like (just to name one COMPLETELY at random) me!


As you, my loyal readership have certainly noticed by now, I am nothing if not utterly and completely devoted to providing you all with your daily dose of Sage Words; so it would HAVE to be an insidious outside force acting upon my unwilling person that would cause me to miss yesterday's blog, and NOT my own propensity to be distracted by shiny objects and new toys!

So here's the skinny:

Back at the beginning of November, I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo, at the behest of Yarntangler and Geezerguy. After a few days of actually posting here every day (instead of my normal "whenever the heck I feel like it") I found out that NaBloPoMo actually stands for something! So I looked it up.

As it turns out, NaBloPoMo means National Blog Posting Month. It was started as a joke by a wonderfully talented writer (the preceeding is a shameless attempt at sychophancy. If you do not have a strong enough stomach for that sort of thing, please accept my apologies for the nausia and the dry cleaning bill) named Eden Mariott Kennedy who writes her own blog called Fussy which I find quite amusing. I suggest you check it out.

NaBloPoMo is essentially an exercize in writing discipline. Now as my close friends and family will all attest to, I am nothing if not in desprate need of dicipline, (I once put two milk cartons with pinholes in them under the back seat of a teacher's car, but not untill I had properly "aged" the milk!) and doubly so when it comes to writing! So this was a great opportunity for me to try to achieve some!

The rules were simple. Post to your blog every day in November. That's it! No ground rules, no pre-determined topics, no advertising for Simpson's Individual Flood Preventers, nothing! Just write!

Whatever comes to mind, any length, and topic, any time as long as it was posted before midnight! So here is a reminder of what I wrote about (see the archive links to read them over if you like!):

  • Four or five posts about writing
  • Four posts on technology and geek stuff
  • Four posts about politics (kinda low for me!)
  • Three posts about my friend Sid
  • Six posts where I mostly just slapped up a picture and called it a night
  • Two posts about my own laziness (there would have been more but, you know how it is...)
  • Two posts about our new house (none very detailed, or satisfying, I know!)
  • And four undefined (possibly deranged) posts full of gobbledygook
Now there was really only one way to screw this up which, at the eleventh hour, I did. I failed to post anything yesterday.

Now, truth be told, it would have been easy to slap something on here and change the post date so it would appear as if I had posted yesterday, but I would not be able to accept that (somehow I have to find a way to get rid of that dang Integrity Gene!). So here I am, laying it all out there for you. I missed a day and there's nothing I can do about it.

But I'm telling you, it was Darth Vader and Megatron conspiring against me!

You may recall me mentioning a certain Plasma TV purchase I was planning to make? (Go on, check it out. I'll wait.) Well, the sad truth of the matter is, I got it. It's a 42 inch Panasonic Viera and it is (as they say back in England) "real purty"!


So I got it yesterday and set it up. And calibrated it. And tuned it. And admired it. And caressed it. And named a future child after it. Then I made an error; I decided to test it.

Now, I don't know about you (actually I do, and if you don't cut that out right now, I'm telling Mom!) but I firmly believe that all new Audio/Visual equipment should rightfully be tested by a viewing of "Star Wars". [That's just "Star Wars", not "Episode Four: A New Hope"! You got that Lucas?!?! I refuse to buy into your revisionist, namby-pamby, "Greedo Shot First" do-over mentality you weasel! NEVER!] So I popped it in. It was, if I may say so, freakin' awesome!

When that was over, I felt the need to try out something a bit more recent (actually, Chica wanted to see it too, so it was a way to score some cheap brownie points!) so I put in Transformers. It too, was awesome!

It was thirty minutes too awesome, actually. When it was over, and I checked my watch, it was half-past midnight! I had missed the 29th! I MISSED IT! And it's all because of Darth Vader and Megatron!

It has to be, right? It couldn't be me!? Sure, I love consumer electronics as much as the next guy (MORE! The next guy doesn't appreciate the difference between 1080i and 1080p, but I DO!) but that doesn't mean I would neglect my adoring fan(s) by leaving them hanging like that! Does it?

I'm so ashamed.

So I guess this is it. I failed the NaBloPoMo movement in its pennultimate moment. I let down the Legions of adoring fans I've accumulated (imagined) since the beginning of the month, and I must pay for it dearly.

My punishment? Well that's up to you! Comment on this post and tell me what you think would be the most appropriate way to atone for my careless indifference to your literary requirements. I'll publish them all in a future post and let Chica pick the winner!

Until then, sorry about yesterday. It couldn't be helped!

-Sage Words

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